Everyone has them. That one guy who has shaped the way you see ALL relationships and that ALL guys are the same way THAT one guy is. The more and more I talk to my roommate about his relationship issues (he could seriously have a TV show) it makes me think about the men of my past. The ones who were there for me during the hardest times of my life. I have three who were there at completely different times in my life who have all shaped the way I view relationships still to this day. If you know me these stories will probably ring a bell and if you don't well then you get to learn a little bit more about me and the men of my past.
Man #1.
If I learned anything from this one, it was how to juggle boyfriends and guy friends. I met this one my freshman year of high school and of course it was rocky from the start. He liked me, I liked another guy yet me being stubborn still wanted to maintain the friendship. I learned very quickly this doesn't work so well when your boyfriend hates the friend. Man #1 is important for many reasons and the number 1 for #1 is he was there during the absolute lowest point of my life. To those who don't know me I lost my grandmother in 2003, and this guy was there for me from the moment I found out till the moment I was laughing at stories about her. He showed me what it meant to be there for someone. No matter the situation, it is important to always be there and show them you care. Even after all the drama of high school we remained friends despite numerous fights and battles. What happened to Man #1 you ask? Well we had a falling out, I apologized and he said he'd forgiven me and I told him thank you for all he did for me back then. I hope one day Man #1 and I will become friends again.
Man #2
What I learned from Man #2 is to seize the moment. If you love someone, tell them because it may be too late. Man #2 and I also met freshman year and I was dating his good friend. Naturally we became really good friends and of course if there were relationship problems we'd talk. He'd often come over and we'd go bowling together even after the relationship with his friend fizzled out. We became really close as he dated a few of my friends and we became closer. Well I ended up meeting someone and we started dating as Man #2 and I started to kind of drift. My relationship ended a few months before moving to college. Man #2 of course was there and would take me bowling and to movies to keep me occupied. Here's where the seize the moment comes in to play. Two days before I was to move to college Man #2 took me to dinner as a "goodbye". He brings me home and as I get out of the car, he stops me. He begins to mutter something and then stops. I again proceed to walk away and this time he says, "Tori, I need to tell you something, I've liked you since freshman year, and I've wanted to give it a shot with you. I hope it's not too late". I said "I am moving in 2 days, how can you drop a bomb on me like this?" I couldn't believe it, it was the perfect scene from a movie. The kind where you hope for a happy ending. Man #2 said he wanted to take me on a date when I came home from college and I agreed. So what happened to Man #2? Well, we never went on the date. In fact, I got back with my ex-boyfriend and he kind of disappeared. However, there is a happy ending! Man #2 just recently got married and now has a daughter. I couldn't be happier for him and I thank you Man #2 for everything and teaching me to seize the moment.
Man #3
Man #3 I believe taught me the most. He taught me don't be afraid of trying something new. He also taught me to take a chance and how to be myself again. I guess you could say Man #3 and myself were kind of star-crossed lovers in a way. He knew my boyfriend from the Man #1 story..(told you I lived in a small town). Also his dad was my favorite teacher ever! I digress...Man #3 and I met at a church camp 3 months before I moved to college. My boyfriend at the time and I were on a "break" and I went away for a week where I met Man #3. He made it known he liked me. I just thought we were good friends after all I was still on a "break". Over the week I told him about my situation and we still became close. He would always come to my work site, play games with my group, and we'd just talk. It turned out he ended up being my teachers son and he lived about 20 minutes away. Well of course after I get home my "break" turned into a break-up. I was devastated and who do I call? If you guessed Man #3 you win! I called him and he talked to me till about 3 that morning. From that point on, we'd text from 7am to 4pm when we'd get off work and then we'd go to dinner or a movie. He was the guy who did everything he could to make sure I was happy. He even cut his hair for me...(he had really long hair!). As the summer progressed, he began to profess his feelings for me. I was scared out of my mind. I had just been dumped after almost a year and half. I was about to move to college and here is this guy willingly to do anything. He was going to school in Austin and I in Dallas. He promised me it could work and that he would come see me. I was just so scared to be hurt again and the fact I was moving to a new town was terrifying in and of itself. I moved to college and he came to pick me up and take me to Austin. We hung out and had a great weekend and I could tell he wanted more and I just couldn't do it. So what happened to Man #3? Well after that weekend, I ended up back with my ex. (Horrible choice..) After that weekend, he stopped responding to calls and texts. I haven't spoken to Man #3 in about 4-5 years. I think this is the one that still affects me to this day. I gained an awesome friend through a horrible experience and due to my fears I lost him. I would not have made it through that summer without him. I know I can never fix what I did but I really hope Man #3 is doing well. If I could tell him anything at this moment it would be: Thank you for all you did for me. I am sorry we couldn't be what you wanted us to be. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about how awesome you were to me. I really hope one day we'll talk and be friends again.
Now even though I think about these men often and the way they helped me through various points in my life I know I wouldn't be where I am today without them. Each of them have made me appreciate the relationship I have now. I learned to find a man who appreciates the fact you have guy friends. I learned to seize the moment and not to wait to tell my man I love him. I learned to not let the past affect what's in front of you and to take a chance on something new and different. I love my triathlete more than words could ever express, he's everything I could have hoped for. However, because of the men of my past I have learned to appreciate my triathlete and not take him for granite.
So I guess you could say the men of my past have had a positive affect on how I view relationships. To the Men of the Past, I thank you and wish you nothing but the best and I hope to one day become friends again. Each of you helped me get to where I am today and for that I am forever grateful.
~Tori~
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